


Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...or Forgetful

by Ali86cat



Category: The Brave (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28327614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ali86cat/pseuds/Ali86cat
Summary: Adam realizes he’s needs to apologize to Jaz for putting her in an impossible situation.
Relationships: Adam Dalton/Jasmine "Jaz" Khan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	1. Realization

**Author's Note:**

> I wondered how Adam would handle leave without any closure with Jaz, as Season 1 so rudely left us ;) ...so that’s where this one comes in. 
> 
> Some chapters may have a tiny bit more graphic descriptions but I will include warnings at the beginning. Nothing super explicit but more than some may be comfortable with.

Adam sighed. The deployment debrief had been long, intense, and more difficult than any he had ever experienced. Every mission since Amir joined the team was scrutinized. It was necessary for future growth, but analyzing past mistakes just seemed fruitlessly painful. And this past deployment had seen its fair share of mistakes, especially since Iran. 

The way he had handled the whole situation with Jaz unsettled him. Why had he come down so hard on her for improvising when Jarif had spooked at the tea house? Had she made the shot, he’d have been congratulating her. But she missed her first shot in like, a year, and he had exploded at her, the unwavering trust he had always put in her, and she in him, shaken. Then when the opportunity was presented for Jaz to go in alone, he wanted it because #killJarif but he was aware of the danger. While he had given Jaz the option to back out, hindsight clearly showed him that putting her in that position immediately following the whole improvise debacle wasn’t the wisest. 

Listening to the recording of that conversation rang in his ears. At the time, his frustration, anger, rage at losing Jarif had overshadowed every other emotion and the fact that he’d overreacted and blown up at Jaz hadn’t even registered...not until the last few days of the grueling debrief. How could he have been so cruel as to “not even mention” how she’d almost shot an innocent bystander? The irony was mind boggling. 

And now he was frustrated with himself. The reason Jaz had walked into Jarif’s hotel was because he had made her feel like she needed to prove herself, something she had never felt obligated to do before. It was his fault. Her capture and torture were all his fault. The ghosts that would stay with her forever, his damn fault. 

Adam took another deep breath, closing his eyes to the well manicured courtyard outside the DIA headquarter building quad. One foot pressed up against the concrete he was half leaning against, half sitting on and the other bounced his knee up and down in choppy agitation. 

He knew she deserved a heartfelt apology. In his mind, he knew having the humility to admit when you’re wrong and seek forgiveness was a positive quality but decades of examples that viewed it as a weakness was hard to fight. But he was a better man than they were, and the ability to give a sincere apology was only one proof of that. 

Adam thrived under pressure when on the job- his mind cleared and would get laser focused while not missing any details. It’s what had catapulted him through the ranks to become one of the youngest SpecOps team captains in history. But now, here, off the time clock, the team would be dispersing to their various homes all over the country over the course of the next few days, and Adam didn’t have the luxury of lots of time to plan out an apology. Jaz’s flight was the first to depart, and that was happening tomorrow morning, bright and early. 

The team, sans Preach who had already been transported to a hospital near his home and including Patricia, Noah, and Hannah, was planning one last group dinner and drinks tonight before heading off in their separate directions. And right now, Adam was at a total loss of what to even say to Jaz beyond “I’m so sorry.”


	2. Processing

Hannah and Jaz enjoyed each other’s company, which was nice since Jaz was crashing at Hannah’s place until her flight left tomorrow. Though they hadn’t gotten to meet face to face before the debrief, they immediately connected and became fast friends. 

Hannah’s experience as a female operative was invaluable in helping Jaz debrief. The humanity of Jaz’s needs as a female actually strengthened the entire team, and Hannah was incredibly helpful in helping them all see that. Usually military men saw femininity as a weakness, but on a team like this, and with her personality, Jaz had a unique opportunity to use it as one of her biggest strengths. 

The ride back to Hannah’s apartment had been lighthearted, a nice change from the intensity of the last several days of debrief. They were looking forward to this night - hanging out with all the team, one last hurrah before everyone went their separate ways. It was dinner and drinks, but at a pretty swanky club, so the girls thought it would be fun to get glammed up a bit. 

Jaz of course, didn’t have any cocktail dresses in DC, but fortunately for her, she and Hannah were pretty close to the same size, at least around the waist and bust. Jaz’s arms were more conditioned from constant training for battle situations, so none of the sleeved dresses worked, but she had settled on a deep red sheath that hugged her figure more tightly than she preferred, but not to the point of being skanky. A rich lace overlay angled down over the sheath that stopped mid-thigh, creating a dramatic diagonal line from her hip to her calf. Hannah lent her a coordinating shawl to keep the early spring chill off. 

Hannah’s dress was thoughtfully chosen - the scars on her back and chest were still quite visible, and though she wasn’t ashamed of them per se, she also didn’t want to put them on display. The high boat neck of emerald beading provided adequate coverage and the satin skirt flounced in two distinct layers, showing off her legs tastefully. 

Jaz and Hannah took turns at the bathroom mirror and the stand up vanity in Hannah’s room, curling their hair and applying makeup. Jaz didn’t much care for getting all made up often, but it was actually fun when there was a friend to do it with. 

The conversation turned to the men on the team and Jaz smirked as Hannah dropped Amir’s name several times. They had met in Columbia when Jaz was still benched and when the team had returned, McG had been the one to name drop multiple times. Jaz kicked herself for not being more observant to Amir’s reaction. 

“So...tough day on you today, huh? Reliving Tehran?” Hannah broached the subject carefully. 

Jaz sighed. “Yeah...that was not a fun time. Besides killing Jarif with my bare hands, I mean. That was fun.”

Hannah smiled and nonchalantly pressed further. “How did you handle it, after Dalton called you out in front of the team? I mean, I know he’s done it before, but never to that extent...”

Jaz was quiet for a moment, contemplating her response. That had been really tough. That feeling of not measuring up, of doing what she thought was her dead level best and coming up so short...she never wanted to experience that again. 

“I’m not sure if I’d do anything different, to be honest. I wasn’t afraid to go in and kill Jarif. But Top always trusted me before, a hundred percent. and now...I mean, think he still does, but I guess I wish I knew for sure. I’ll always have his back.”

“You two have something special, that I could see over the last few days. Y’all have like, a whole other wavelength that you communicate on.”

Jaz stilled, torn in her agreement and the reality that at times things still felt strained. She had put the entire team at risk, gotten herself captured, and then put the team at risk again when they rescued her. She knew her actions had consequences and Dalton was right to correct her when she had gotten tunnel vision. Still, being at odds with her best friend really sucked. And because he was also her commanding officer, it wasn’t like she really had the freedom to hash it through and get to the other side without his initiation. 

“Yeah, Adam is ... a lot of things —“

“Oh...so it’s Adam, is it?” Hannah snickered. 

“Hannah. It’s not like that. He doesn’t see me as anything other than a soldier. We just ... have a lot in common with our past and he’s the only CO I’ve ever had that actually respects me for who I am and doesn’t either treat me with kid gloves or completely underestimate me just because I’m female”

“Uh-huh,” Hannah scoffed. “I picked up on the way you two were looking at each other before the rest of the team arrived this morning!”

Jaz smiled to herself, allowing the briefest moment of fantasy. Adam was special to her. In another place, another time, perhaps they would have a real chance, but as it was, he was her CO and she dared not cross the line on her own, as much as she may want to.


	3. Growing Expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaz and Dalton admire each other from afar.

Patricia, Jaz and Hannah found each other in the parking lot, minutes before the appointment time for dinner. They exchanged pleasantries and Patricia gave the younger women an approving nod. 

“Adam and Amir will have a hard time taking their eyes off you two tonight,” she murmured matter of factly. 

Hannah and Jaz exchanged startled glances, heat rising on both their faces. 

“What are you talking about?” They exclaimed in unison. 

Patricia gave them a point glance and smirked. “You don’t think I became Deputy Director by being oblivious to what’s right in front of my face, do you?”

She turned to lead the way inside. “I’d say you’re both gonna give McG a run for his money, but honestly he doesn’t stand a chance with the way Adam and Amir attended to each of you over the last week. You’ve done a good job keeping it professional, but tonight is yours to relax and enjoy.”

The ladies entered the club and scanned the room, looking for the rest of the team. McG, Amir, and Noah stood at the bar, drinks in hand, laughing over some joke between them. 

“Gentlemen, good evening.” Patricia’s characteristically curt voice drew their attention and their laughter instantly stilled as they took in the sight of the women in front of them. 

McG let out an unabashed whistle. “Damn, ladies! I didn’t know this was a fancy date!”

Jaz slugged him on the arm, just hard enough to make her point. “It’s not a date!”

Noah nervously shifted on his feet, his hands awkwardly reaching in and out of his pockets like he didn’t really know what to do with them. “Hannah, Jaz. Patricia,” he nodded to each of them. “You all look —“ 

He cleared his throat after his voice broke like a teenager. “You all look beautiful tonight.” Turning quickly, he motioned the bartender. “Another drink, please!”

Amir didn’t say a word, but his eyes drank in Hannah’s beauty, if from his peripheral vision. He’d been trained in the art of subtlety and it sure came in handy in times like this. He could casually observe anyone without giving it away. 

McG elbowed Amir with a hoot. “Dude, say something. They’re gonna think you’re blind or something! Don’t they look great?”

Amir pretended to just notice the effort the girls had put into their appearance. “Oh, absolutely! Great color for you, Jaz.” He gave her a friendly side hug and whispered in her ear, “Wait till Top sees you in this dress.”

She blushed and slugged him playfully in the stomach. How almost everyone on the team had clued into the connection between her and Adam was a mystery. She had tried so hard not to do anything that would jeopardize her standing on the team, and having a thing for her captain definitely fell into that category. Still, a tiny flower of hope bloomed that just maybe Adam returned her feelings. 

Jaz leaned close to whisper back, “You better ask Hannah to dance before the night is over.”

He looked confidently in her eyes and said softly but firmly, “Oh I plan to.” He adjusted his gaze past Jaz and offered his arm to Hannah, “May I order you a drink?”

Adam stood stoically in the corner of the room, observing his team from the distance. The sight of Jaz in that dress...it took his breath away and he was grateful for the momentary reprieve. He’d spent the last three hours mulling over his apology and thought he’d come up with a good plan, but damn. That was before he saw that red lace and more of Jaz’s shoulders than he’d seen before. It wasn’t like he’d never seen her in a dress before, but even without a shirt - she often trained in just a sports bra and leggings, leaving her toned shoulders, back, and abs exposed. But that dress. Whew. It really set off her dark hair and smooth skin. 

Suddenly Jaz looked up, as if she could feel his gaze. Her eyes clicked with his and a flicker of vulnerability passed between them. She raised her glass towards him then looked away, tuning back in to the conversation around her. The warmth of his gaze when she first caught his eye unsettled her, and she was glad for the people and distance between them. He had dressed up to, and it was hard not to notice how his shoulders strained under his shirt and jacket. His hair was freshly cut and damn if he didn’t look hot as hell. It was going to be a long night.


	4. A Silent Struggle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam wrestles within himself.

Adam tugged at his collar, loosening his tie so he could breathe. It was going to be a long night. He was halfway to the group when a handful of skimpy twenty somethings surrounded him. 

Hands squeezed his biceps on either arm and patted his chest in three different places at once. “Hey, handsome! Buy us a drink, will you?” 

He rolled his eyes at the gaggle of giggles and uncomfortably extricated himself from their grip. “Sorry, ladies. Another time, perhaps.”

They pouted without shame but thankfully let him go. Unfortunately McG saw the whole exchange and was ready to rib Adam as soon as he joined their group. 

“Top! Feel free to invite your dates to join us!” He was the only team member completely oblivious to Adam and Jaz’s connection. “I’ll be glad to play wingman for you tonight!”

“Thanks, MacGuire, but I think I can handle myself,” he rolled his eyes again and took a swig of his drink, carefully avoiding Jaz’s eyes. She was even more stunning up close, the warm lighting catching every sparkle in her eye shadow and glinting off her impossibly glossy red lips. 

Patricia clinked her glass to get their attention. “I reserved a quiet room in the back for dinner, if we all want to head that direction. There will be plenty of time after to enjoy the music and dance floor.”

They filed back to the room amicably and seated themselves at the long table set up with the perfect number of seats. Candles flickered on the table and the room was warm, but comfortable. Jaz slipped the shawl off her shoulders as she sat towards one end of the table, Noah following close behind to grab the seat next to her. 

Adam positioned himself at the other end of the table, opposite Patricia and beside Amir, who somehow had worked it so Hannah was seated next to him. The only seat left for McG who had gotten swept up by the same group of socialites was the head of the table between Jaz and Hannah. 

Jaz swallowed the petty annoyance that Adam had chosen a seat basically as far from her as possible and determined to enjoy the night anyway. Insecurity was not a look she ever planned to wear. Besides, with him farther away, she could still catch glimpses of him but not have the pressure of carrying on a coherent conversation with the man who could easily turn her speechless with one flicker from those ocean eyes. 

Adam chose his seat out of desperation. Any closer to Jaz and he’d be a fumbling fool the entire night. At least with the distance between them, he could admire her from afar but not have the pressure of involving her too personally on conversation. Usually his control over his emotions was impeccable, but he had flirted with the line of appropriate behavior between captain and soldier too much lately and now that their leave was official, it would be all too easy to abandon all self control and demolish that line completely. 

Adam reminded himself that leave didn’t mean anything in terms of his status as team leader. The team would be back to work in six months’ time and he refused to jeopardize the tenuous balance he had worked so hard to achieve over the last year. 

He wasn’t sure when this crazy magnetism between the two of them started. He knew for sure it was there back in Seville, though he hadn’t been ready to admit it was mutual back then. But it had been slowly building in the months leading up to that op in Spain. And had all but exploded afterwards. 

Somehow Jaz had worked her way under his carefully laid armor and reached a part of his heart that he had thought was long dead. Even without the stress of keeping things professional, Adam hadn’t a clue as to how he would pursue things if he could. He had worked tirelessly to both open up to Jaz but keep their connection on the down low so as to not upset the team dynamic. 

Tehran had changed things in his mind. He had been ready to send the rest of them home, but there was no way in hell that he would leave Iran without Jaz. He would rescue her or die trying. And then there was the whole Alex Hoffman fiasco with his uncanny intuition of their unspoken feelings for each other. When Alex had referred to him as Jaz’s boyfriend, his blood pressure had flown through the roof. Mind games, he had snapped, frantic to deflect the truth. But honestly “boyfriend” sounded...so juvenile, when what he and Jaz shared was infinitely more profound. Adam didn’t know if he believed in soulmates, but if they were a thing, he was pretty sure Jaz was his.


End file.
